Tag Archives: KFC

KFC’s Double Down Returns

Men are all about protein.

And bacon.

And cheese.

Carbs are for sissies.

And we do love our fried chicken.

You don’t know how happy I am that KFC brought back its legendary Double Down, a majestic, man-sized creation of chickeny goodness KFC Philippines describes on its website as “an all-meat sandwich with two Original Recipe Chicken fillet, two pieces of bacon, cheese and mayo.”



I repeat: An all-meat sandwich. With two chicken fillets. And bacon. And cheese. And mayo.

I guess that makes it paleo-approved?




It’s all good for just P120 a pop, a la carte, or P160 with fries and a soda.

For less manly men with lesser appetites, they also have the Junior Double Down, which is much smaller, and is the fried chicken equivalent of saying you have a small penis.



I wouldn’t get one, even at just P80 a la carte. I’d just go for the man-sized bigger version. It’s symbolic – everybody knows, after all, that the size of a man’s penis directly relates to the size of his fried chicken.

I love the Double Down. It’s a man-sized burger for a man-sized appetite.



And believe me, it’s taking all my willpower not to pick up my phone and get about 14 of these bad boys delivered…



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Is KFC’s New Chili Lime Chicken Worth The Hype?

There are only three things in life that Real Manly Men like you and I need to eat:

  1. Raw meat
  2. Goat entrails
  3. Fried chicken

Bonus points if you somehow manage to concoct yourself a goulash consisting of all three…

But that’s it. No fancy frou-frou salads. No delicate flaky pastries. Just authentic barbarian entrees served with a minimum of flash and frills.

Now, when it comes to item number 3 on  my list of Manly Food, I like to keep things simple. Just some basic fried chicken, a side of cole slaw, a mountain of mashed potatoes a triple serving of rice, and a bargeful of gravy to keep things nice and lubricated. KFC does a good job of providing this core Manly Food Item. Certainly well enough that I don’t need to explore other, less masculine options such as Jollibee, McDonald’s, or even *shudder* Popeye’s.

Man, that’s a lot of food.

But every now and then, KFC comes up with something that surprises me and makes my manly throat utter a nervously excited squeak.

Today, I saw something that elicited precisely that unbecoming Girly Squeak from my Superstar throat.

It was the all-new KFC Chili Lime Chicken.

I was so intrigued that I just had to cancel various bank-related errands for my Thailand trip, and drop by their President’s Avenue branch for an impromptu pit stop.

I wanted the pure, virginal experience, so I just ordered a basic 2-piece meal, double rice, no sidings. I needed to know how the Chili Lime chicken stood up to my discerning Manly Palate in its most naked form.

The verdict?

It’s exactly how you imagine it to be: their moist, juicy chicken marinated in a lime-infused mix, deep-fried in their crisp golden batter (which is exactly the same as their Hot & Crispy batter, btw), then coated with finely-powdered layers of chili and lime.

It wasn’t spectacular. But it was very good. The lime taste was very subtle – more of an aftertaste, really, but played off the zesty chili very well. It brought back memories of gin-laden nights in the old Peligro bar, and gave an unexpectedly fresh, green twist to a normally very “brown” food in one’s mouth. The chili wasn’t amped up to the levels of the basic Hot & Crispy version though, which I found disappointing. I have high heat tolerance when it comes to food, and I think that even more spice would have been a mind-blowing contrast to the mild citrus undertones.

I also found it quite strange that it was served with a cup of the standard KFC gravy. Purists will say that’s the only true way to enjoy one’s KFC, but I personally found it to be too meaty to complement the fresh south-of-the-border zestiness of the chicken. I think sour cream would have been a perfect side, with a twist of lime perhaps, but that may be too posh for KFC’s marketing model.

It wasn’t spectacular, as I’ve said, but it certainly is a very intriguing play in the mouth. But you do need to run over to KFC soon if you want to get it. In an exclusive one-on-one interview that may or may not have occurred between MDJ Superstar and KFC’s Global Chief Executive Presidential Chairman on Chili Lime Chicken & Miscellaneous Fixins for Developing Markets & Southern Illionois, the Superstar learned that this new offering will be available until the end of 2010 only, and will be re-evaluated as to market feasibility and sustained presence.

KFC’s new Chili Lime chicken is available at the same price as both their Original Recipe and Hot & Crispy variants, and can be mixed-and-matched with them as you please, even in the various Combo Meal iterations.

I couldn’t find a local TV commercial on YouTube (is there even one?) but this version from another Asian market says everything you need to know about this fresh new kid on the Fried Chicken block.

KFC Chili Lime chicken isn’t the greatest chicken dish in the world, but it certainly is worth a taste or two. Manly Men thrive on keeping themselves fresh, revitalized, reinventive, and new*, and when it comes to keeping one’s portfolio of culinary options up-to-date, there are certainly worse ways to go than this zesty new choice from Colonel Sanders’ own kitchen.

* – Just like Madonna.

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Break Free From The Tyranny of the Bun – The New KFC Double Down

Real men don’t bother with pansy-assed things like processed carbohydrates and refined sugars. White bread is for chicks; pasta and rice are for pencil-necked prepubescent nerds.

Men are all about The Meat.

Through generations of stegosaurus-hunting, bison-spearing, and moose-bazooka-ing, our incredibly macho digestive tracts have been biologically hardwired to accept one thing and one thing only: greasy mountains of cholesterol-laden, grease-dripping, quivering-with-saturated-fat good-God-glorious animal protein, AKA “meat.”

That brings me to the glory of what is perhaps the greatest invention of the 21st century thus far, the Segway, the iPhone, and reversible pants notwithstanding: KFC’s epic new bun-free Double Down burger.

This gloriously-politically-incorrect “sandwich” defies one of the most basic concepts behind a sandwich, namely its complete and utter lack of the unimportant, completely incidental little ingredient known as “bread.” Which is perfectly acceptable to MDJ Superstar. Things like “sesame seeds” were created by our Lord Baby Jesus in His little manger-throne solely for the consumption of goats and anorexic cheerleaders anyway, and the only thing achieved by the presence of a bun at the end of the day is to take up space that could have been used to more productive, macho ends, i.e. loading in another slab of deep-fried breaded chicken meat. I know, how inconsiderate, right?

Here’s how KFC themselves describe the Double Down.

The creation features a dollop of the Colonel’s secret sauce wrapped in a slice of both Pepperjack Cheese and Swiss Cheese, between two slices of bacon and two filets of KFC original recipe chicken that serve as the ‘bread’ of the burger. That’s right – instead of bread, you get breaded chicken. Multiplied by two.

Beautiful, isn’t it?

Obviously, it’s incredibly high in calcium from all the cheese. And let’s not overlook the magnificent amounts of bacon-and-chicken-sourced protein to add even more astounding heft to our pecs and biceps. Truly a highlight of modern nutrition and culture, and I am just aghast that it took our Lord Baby Jesus this long to bring this wonder of creation down from the heavens and into our grubby, awestruck hands.

Stand back, McDonad’s Big Mac. Go get clamped, Jollibee Champ. Don’t try to stop her, Burger King Whopper. The new KFC Double Down is the new king of the hill among us manly disciples of the Manly Man Manifesto.

What would it take to get KFC Philippines to launch this locally? I’ve started a petition here. Please spread the word. It’s a fairly simple case, I believe:

  1. Filipino men need protein.
  2. Chicken is a great source of protein.
  3. KFC serves a sandwich that is made of PURE PROTEIN.
  4. Ergo, Filipinos need the KFC Double Down.

I think about five signatures would be enough to convince ol’ Colonel Sanders to look towards our shores. Help me get to that five.

Bring the glory of the KFC Double Down to the Philippines.

Help feed a new breed of macho men in our country.

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